It has been almost seven years now that my life has been completely devastated by harsh events and a series of bad choices that have brought me from financial tranquility and a happy life with no major difficulty, to a total economic disaster. It coincided with the start of my spiritual journey as I began to understand my relationship with the Light.
It began with Yogananda, Chopra, and Maharishi. It is said that there cannot be construction without first destruction. Finally, encountering Kabbalah has given me completeness and a sense of purpose. The spiritual work proposed by Kabbalah is the most difficult, yet most profound. I am just beginning and yet I understand that to be able to access our divine destiny we need to correct and transform.
My question is, while I have been chiseling away most of my egotistical traits, sweetening my judgments, letting go of my anger and resentment towards others, why hasn't this produced effects and changes in my material life? Why do I still feel stuck, as if my life is governed by some external force, pushing and pulling me in every direction? And what am I doing wrong? ~LR
Rather than doing anything wrong, it would appear you are doing everything right!
Rav Ashlag teaches that the indicator for our spiritual level is the ability to find our EGO and remove it in order to get closer to the Light. The more Light we reveal, the more garbage we see. It’s like a ray of sunlight entering a dark room; we suddenly see the air is full of dust particles!
The material results will also come at the right time for us, but they are only there to support our spiritual goals and connection to the Light. If a physical gift would be of detriment, the Creator will make sure we don’t receive it before we can handle it. Finally, many of the miracles we earn are ‘unseen miracles,’ like the car crash a person was meant to be in, yet it never happened.