How Can I Curb My False Beliefs? 4 Tips to Replace Negative Thoughts
Beliefs are powerful. They create the framework in which we live. When they are aligned with our integrity and goals, they support our success. Positive beliefs help us manifest what we want and make us feel better in our skin. False beliefs, on the other hand, wreak havoc and too often become self-fulfilling prophecies.
We all walk around with limiting beliefs that hold us back and stop us from living the lives we want. We can only achieve greatness to the degree that we believe in ourselves. The truer and more powerfully we believe in our potential and abilities, the higher we can go.
Here are 4 tips to identify and replace false beliefs:
1. Give yourself the compassion you would offer a loved one.
So often, we are our own worst critics. We judge ourselves harshly for every mistake and expect perfection from everything we do. In the process, we start to form negative beliefs about ourselves – that we aren’t smart, talented, beautiful, or likable enough, for instance. We treat ourselves worse than we would treat even a stranger we met on the street.
One way to identify your limiting beliefs is to take note of what your internal voice is saying. What do you think when you look in the mirror? The negative things we say to ourselves are the effect of limiting beliefs. Ask yourself: Is this voice nice or mean? Would you ever speak to a friend or loved one the way you speak to yourself? Give yourself the compassion you would offer someone you care about.
2. Ask yourself if your negative thoughts are based on facts or feelings.
The quickest way to spot less-than-ideal beliefs is to be aware of your thoughts when you find yourself reacting strongly to something. Do you find yourself thinking things like, “Nothing ever works out for me” or “I never get what I want”? When these types of thoughts pop up, pause and ask yourself if they are really rooted in fact.
Imagine a scientist walking into your brain and evaluating your thoughts based on history and evidence. They would conclude that it is impossible that nothing has ever worked out for you or that you never get what you want and could come up with an entire list of times that contradict those thoughts.
Like a scientist, try discovering and analyzing your negative beliefs, looking at them objectively while removing the emotion from the situation. Are they based in reality or part of a narrative you believe about yourself?
3. Write down your negative beliefs and then create new positive ones.
How many totally unhelpful, if not downright incorrect, things do you believe about yourself? Now is the time to consciously unbelieve your untrue or limiting beliefs. Take some time to make a list. Common false beliefs include thinking vulnerability equals weakness, you never get what you want, or that if you want something done correctly, you have to do it yourself.
Write them down, recite them, and then write new supportive beliefs that reframe them. For instance, if you believe you never get anything you want, try creating a new belief that when you put in effort and focus on a goal, you often achieve it. Do this repeatedly day after day until you start chipping away at some of the negative beliefs, replacing them with new, positive, supportive ones.
4. Give yourself permission to mess up. The goal is to get better, not to be perfect.
So many of our false beliefs about ourselves are tied to wanting to be perfect. We often want to prove we are good at everything and that we know what we are doing all the time. The reality is, of course, that it’s impossible to be perfect all the time. When we have this expectation, we start to doubt ourselves and create anxiety that only kills our goals.
Instead of being good, the goal should be to get better. When we are thinking about what we’re doing in terms of learning and improving, there are mistakes and setbacks, but we see we are going in the direction that is going to help us grow. Give yourself permission to mess up. Start saying, “I’m not going to be good at this right away.” Studies show that when people are allowed to make mistakes, they are actually significantly less likely to make them!
No matter how good you are, you can always get better. Give yourself time to learn something new, ask for help when needed, and try not to compare yourself to others. Get excited about getting better in all ways.
Everyone carries false beliefs with them that limit what we are capable of. Start bringing awareness to your false beliefs, creating new positive ones, and allow yourself to get excited about making mistakes and being messy with life. Think of life in terms of progress instead of perfection, and give yourself grace and compassion. Replacing your false beliefs with positive ones will reframe your life and expand your potential to achieve greatness and find lasting fulfillment.
