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There are so many reasons why we sometimes find ourselves feeling lonely. As humans, we are dependent on connection to other people but can feel at a loss for how to find those connections or maintain them once found. It’s easy to feel disconnected from everything, especially ourselves.
While it's normal to feel lonely from time to time, chronic loneliness can have a profound impact on our mental and physical health. Loneliness is associated with a greater risk of coronary heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, dementia, depression, and anxiety. Loneliness is not just an emotional issue – it is a health concern.
Everyone experiences loneliness at one time or another, but we have the power to change that. There is a process to cultivate a stronger relationship with yourself and those around you, to tap into deeper fulfillment and joy in life.
Here are 4 steps to combat loneliness:
1. Be aware of the negative thoughts you have about yourself.
There is a big difference between loneliness and solitude. Solitude is choosing to be alone and using that time for reflection or enjoyment of your own company. Loneliness, on the other hand, is a sense of isolation that persists even if you are with other people. It is feeling like you aren’t even your own companion and that you don’t get solace by spending time with yourself.
There are people who are lonely but find it almost impossible to pull themselves out, even with social connection, because they are so unkind to themselves. Our souls are made of endless potential, and when we stop recognizing this, our thoughts fall out of alignment with the truest part of ourselves. This is at the core of what loneliness is.
Everything starts with the self. Your thoughts dictate your reality. Before you can be a good friend to others, you have to be a good friend to yourself. Where are your thoughts? Are they kind and nourishing? Do they support and console you?
2. Connect to the higher power that is protecting, guiding, and loving you.
One of the benefits of a spiritual path is that it helps us develop the awareness that we are always surrounded by a loving force. We are not walking through life alone but rather in oneness with a higher power that is supporting us.
When you understand that this force is always with you, you realize that you are never truly alone. There is a support system for you that loves you and wants the best for you. Make time to recognize that there is a force that is protecting, guiding, and loving you. It doesn’t completely replace the need for social interaction, but it can help bring inner peace and acceptance.
3. Strive to have at least one interaction each day that benefits someone else.
Usually, when we consider getting coffee with someone or going to their party, we think, “What is the benefit to me? What joy or fun will I receive from the experience?” While that is a normal part of our relationships, one of the most powerful tools to prevent loneliness is to have at least one interaction every day that is for the benefit of another person.
That interaction doesn’t have to be with someone that is very close to you. In fact, it can be with a complete stranger! The goal is to go out of your way to connect with someone every day. Ask yourself, “Where am I giving to someone because I know it brings benefit to them, instead of doing it because I miss them or they make me feel good when I am with them?” The more you put yourself out there for the benefit of others, the more you will grow.
4. Understand that relying on others doesn’t make you weak – it is an important part of your spiritual growth.
In our society, there’s a strong value placed on self-reliance and being an individual. It is so ingrained in us we sometimes think we don’t really need the help of others at all. This can discourage us from relying on others for support. It’s uncomfortable to be vulnerable and ask for help, but it’s also an important part of our existence. Being self-reliant doesn’t change how much we also need other people.
One of the fundamental spiritual teachings is that we are all connected. What we cannot do alone, we can do with the help of others. In order for us to thrive in every aspect of our beings, emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually, we need to be in relatively constant interaction and connection with others.
Reach out to people you care about, introduce yourself to neighbors, and check on coworkers who may be having a hard time. Always make the choice to interact instead of not. It might not always go well, but it will always be for your benefit.
Loneliness does not need to become debilitating. Through our spiritual work, we can manage and overcome feelings of loneliness. Be kind to yourself, connect to a higher power, seek out selfless interactions, and allow yourself to rely on others for help. With practice and dedication, you can find the inner peace that comes with knowing you are not alone in this world.