How Can I Recognize the Desire of My Soul from the Desire of My Ego?

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How Can I Recognize the Desire of My Soul from the Desire of My Ego?

Monica Berg
February 15, 2018
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Dear Monica, 

How can I recognize the desire of my soul from the desire of my ego? 

Kathleen Zimmerman 


Life is full of opportunities. We apply for jobs, for college, or training programs. We enroll in courses, tours, or internships. We decide to buy a house, travel to another country, or pursue a new career. Our friends and family tell us to follow our hearts. But for every choice that stands before us, how are we to truly know when it is our soul calling to us?

The answer is simpler than you might think. If it’s our soul’s desire there is some aspect of wanting good for other people. If it is only good for yourself, the desire comes from the ego.

In 2015, my husband, Michael, and I were certain we wanted to move to New York. We had been living in Los Angeles for many years. My family called California home. But something just felt right about New York. We heard a calling and felt the Light was speaking to us, nudging us toward New York. So, I put all my energy into making it happen, because we really felt that’s what we should do. We had complete certainty.

However, we were also entirely unattached. 

"When you’re connected to the Light, you’re not attached to an outcome."

When you’re connected to the Light, you’re not attached to an outcome. You have a desire, but you also have clarity. You want to be wherever you’re supposed to be. That’s ultimately the level we aspire to.

How can we have certainty in achieving a goal without getting attached to that goal? By “letting go” in every moment. Michael and I were certain we wanted to move to New York and that it was the best thing for us. But if it didn’t happen – for instance, because the kids didn’t get into school or we weren’t able to find an apartment or things just didn’t line up — we were okay with not moving. If it didn’t happen, it wasn’t supposed to happen and I trusted that process, as well.

Practice not being attached to anything and try leaving it to the Creator. Stay connected to your source; that’s where you come from. That’s where certainty, happiness, and abundance are derived from. One is consciousness. One is a need. Do everything you can to make your dreams and desires come true. But if you put all of your energy into something and the answer is “no,” then your energy wasn’t meant for that specific goal.

Remember, no energy is wasted. Let’s say you are training for a marathon. You train for months and work tirelessly focused on your goal. However, the race day comes and for whatever reason, you can’t go. What are you going to do? You can be upset and think, “I wasted all these years or months training! I’m angry.” Or you can tell yourself, “This wasn’t the race for me. When’s the next race? I’m going to try for that.” Trust the process; for when you do, you will discover the process is the purpose.

In the end, the energy we put out is never wasted unless we think it is. When you encounter an obstacle don’t assume it was never meant to be. “I’m not supposed to run the race.” No! You just weren’t meant to run in that race. Try again.