How Do I Know What Will Make Me Happy? 3 Tips to Set Your Desire Towards Fulfillment

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How Do I Know What Will Make Me Happy? 3 Tips to Set Your Desire Towards Fulfillment

Adapted from Monica and Michael Berg’s Spiritually Hungry podcast. Listen and subscribe here.
December 25, 2023
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Think of a time you got exactly what you wanted, and it ended up being a disappointment. Or a time when you didn’t get what you wanted, but it turned out to be the best thing that could’ve happened. Life is full of these unexpected outcomes. So, how do we know when to fight for the things we want and when to pivot our energy to something else?

Here are 3 tips to set your desire on the path to fulfillment: 

1. Focus on building desire instead of diminishing it. You are meant to strive for so much more.

When people think about spirituality, they sometimes think that it requires diminishing their desire for more. We might picture the epitome of a spiritual person as a monk who has no interest in physical things. While there are benefits to that type of lifestyle, it’s not our ultimate purpose. We live in the physical world, and there’s a reason for that.  

The Creator wants to share with us endlessly. We are meant to desire and strive for so much more than most of us do. Not only are we meant to want, most of us don’t want enough! There are people who struggle with not being able to ask for what they want, say what they want, or even let themselves desire something because of feelings of shame. This can close you off from receiving the blessings that the Creator wants to send you. If you don’t believe you are worthy of the things you desire, then you limit what you can achieve. 

Remind yourself that you are worthy and deserving of blessings. 

2. Consider the possibility that failure can lead you to success. We don’t always know what is best for our souls. 

While it is true that we are meant to desire and receive more and more from the Creator, we usually don’t know what we really need. Just like a child who has a strong desire to eat an entire jar of cookies instead of their vegetables, we sometimes desire things that are not the best for us. Not getting the things we want is often a blessing in disguise. 

This can be confusing for ambitious people who want to create and manifest their lives. Pause,  take a step back, and ask, “If I get everything I want right now, how could that be harmful to me?” Sometimes, when we keep pushing and asking for what we desire without bringing the energy of the Creator in, those blessings can turn out to be a curse if it’s the wrong time, the wrong desire, or something that is not meant to come our way. Likewise, failure can sometimes lead to real success. The key is to live in that state of awareness while we are going through it rather than just in hindsight.

Work on building your desire for more and more, but also be open to the fact that you don’t know what will ultimately lead to happiness and fulfillment.

3. Trust that the Creator knows what you need, and be open to being led in new directions.  

If you accept that you are meant to have more but are also aware that you can’t know if success will bring you fulfillment, it naturally leads you to a third state of consciousness: aligning your desire with the Creator’s desire. There is a stronger, more powerful desire than the one you are experiencing. It is the Light of the Creator. 

When you wake up each morning, remind yourself that you want to have more but that you are open to what the Universe has in store for you, which is best. Have certainty that when something happens that you didn’t want, it is for your ultimate good. 

We never really know what outcome our successes or failures will bring, so it’s important to stay open to all possibilities. When you live with that openness, you are accepting and appreciating and excited, knowing you are growing in blessings. Trust that your life’s trajectory is taking you towards more blessings, even if those aren’t necessarily the specific things you want right now. There is humility and trust that comes with being open.

Life is not about diminishing our desires but about perfecting them and growing them in the right way. Don’t get stuck in the little disappointments or the things you want to force. Be open and humble, and then you will find your path to the true desire and the ultimate goodness you are meant to have. 


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