We’ve all had moments where we realize things don’t always go the way we planned. We get excited about something, but it fails to live up to our vision, someone we trusted lets us down in a hurtful way, or we fall short of the expectations we place on ourselves.
Disappointment is the emotion that arises when an outcome does not match our expectations. It doesn’t feel good, but it actually has an important spiritual role to play in our lives if we know how to view it as a powerful opportunity for change.
Here are 3 tips to move past disappointment and find future fulfillment:
1. Reassess your expectations.
Disappointment is rooted in our expectations. The greater the disparity between what we expect and what actually happens, the greater the feeling of disappointment. Planning a vacation can sometimes be more enjoyable than the actual trip itself because reality rarely aligns with our grand plans. Even when things do go our way, they can still be disappointing. We often expect that once we achieve or acquire something, that we will find endless happiness and fulfillment. You can be successful and get everything you want and still be disappointed by the outcome if your expectations are unrealistic.
Ongoing disappointments are a signpost that something needs to shift internally, whether it’s our desires, expectations, or beliefs. When disappointed, ask yourself: Should I have had those expectations to begin with? How do my expectations need to change so that I can enjoy where I am right now in this moment? Consider that you were too attached to an outcome rather than being open to the direction the universe wants to take you.
Only healthy expectations are to be heard, respected, and treated with human dignity. Everything else can be thrown away. It doesn’t mean we have to give up on our goals, but it’s a sign to rethink why we want them and what our approach is. Expect nothing and appreciate everything.
2. Consider how you are meant to grow from this disappointment.
Everything in life has a purpose, even every disappointment, great or small. Detours, obstacles, and setbacks are important opportunities to learn and grow. Each disappointment is a necessary step in our development. Without them, we could never reach our potential and experience fulfillment.
When plans fall apart and situations change, we feel overwhelmingly disappointed, sad, or uncertain. But the truth is that everything that happens to us happens for us. Some of the most important blessings in our lives come from the lessons we learn from our disappointments.
This is an important shift in the way we view setbacks that can completely change our experience of life. After each disappointment, ask yourself: Is there something for me to learn from this disappointment? How can I use this experience to grow?
3. Trust that disappointments are leading to your future blessings.
One mistake many of us make is that we view every moment as separate from what came before and what comes after. But these moments do not exist in a vacuum. There is a cause and effect to everything we experience in ways we don’t necessarily see.
One of the biggest sources of disappointment we experience is looking at something that happened and wishing it was not part of our lives instead of realizing that disappointments are intrinsically connected to the joy we will experience in the future. You cannot remove one without the other. If you excise out the disappointment, you excise out the benefits and the blessings as well.
Trust that the disappointment you are experiencing is connected to the amazing blessing you will have in the near future. We don’t know which disappointment correlates to which blessing but know that they are tied together.
Disappointment has an important role to play in our lives. It grants us the space to reevaluate our expectations, provides us with opportunities to be transformed in positive ways, and makes way for blessings to come into our lives. None of this is possible, however, without setting our consciousness in the right direction. Instead of dwelling on life’s setbacks and wishing they hadn’t happened, use them to propel yourself forward and trust that the universe is leading you where you are meant to be.
