The Strength To Stay

As we know, every month has a different, unique energy. And we want to understand both what is being awakened during that month and what gifts are available to us so we can tap in and receive them.

It was during this month of Gemini, or Sivan, when what is called the Revelation at Sinai, the Giving of the Torah, occurred. Of course, we know that it is not the physical book of the Torah that we connect to, but rather, to the essence, the Light that is concealed within it, which is the Light of complete removal of pain, suffering, and death from our world; that initial global revelation of Light was brought into this world during the month of Gemini thousands of years ago.

It says in the Zohar that not every soul merited being at that revelation. But this seems to contradict what is found in many other kabbalistic writings which say every single soul that ever existed and ever will exist was present. Therefore, the kabbalists struggle with this seeming contradiction; was everybody there or not?

There is a great kabbalist named Rav Yehuda Pitaya who answers this question. He says that when Moses went to the Israelites and told them in this month of Gemini that the Light of Immortality, the totality of the Light of the Creator, was going to be revealed to them in a few days, they all got excited. But then, something happened. Suddenly people got scared and started taking a step back.

What happened? The kabbalists explain that the first part of the message Moses gave to the Israelites was about the totality of the Light of the Creator being revealed, and pain, suffering, and death being removed from this world through that revelation. They were all excited by this. But then the second part of the message came, which was the revelation of how challenging the work of truly manifesting that Light in this world is; true spiritual work is difficult and sometimes scary.

So, although there was the initial excitement, when the Israelites started hearing and understanding what type of challenges were ahead, they got scared, and it says that they started walking backwards. Most of the Israelites at that time said we would love to receive the gift that is available, the gift of removal of pain, suffering and death, but we are too scared. They saw the path would be too challenging, difficult, and scary, so they took steps back. Except the few; Rav Shimon bar Yochai was one of the few, for example, who said, "I do not care how challenging the path is going to be. I do not care how dark the path might get. I stand here, through the fear and through the challenge. I want to receive and reveal the totality of that Light for myself and for the world." And that is how the kabbalists explain the discrepancy between souls who were there and souls who were not there.

Initially, all the souls that ever existed and ever will exist were there. But most of the souls, when they started understanding the path, took a step back, except for the few who said, "We are staying here. We are not moving back." It is those souls - the souls who do not get scared or do not jump back in fear - the kabbalists teach are the ones with the ability to bring the complete Light of the Creator into this world. Anyone who had the merit to be around Rav Berg, know this is a quality the Rav had always. When other people move back, true kabbalists stand. When other people become fearful, true kabbalists stay. When other people see the challenges and cannot face them, true kabbalists stay.

Therefore, in this month, we can receive the gift that the true kabbalists had, the gift that enables an individual to stay ultimately connected to the Light of the Creator. This is someone who has the commitment or at least the desire to have the commitment of the souls like Rav Shimon bar Yochai who said, "I see the darkness, challenges, and fear, but I stand, I stay. I do not move back."

We have to ask ourselves, "Am I an individual who stands there no matter what? Or, have there been times, or can I envision times, when the challenge is too great or the fear is too great and I feel I need to take a step back?" Know that if you are still in that state, in this month you can make the commitment and ask for that gift of strength; strength not to move back through the challenges, pain, and fear.

We can ask during this month of Gemini for the gift that Rav Shimon bar Yochai had - when everybody else became fearful and ran back, he stayed. When everybody else said the challenges will be too great, he stood there. We can ask the Light for that strength to stay and maybe even move forward. That is a gift of this month: the gift of strength, of standing there when the challenges come, of standing there when the darkness comes, standing there when fear comes. And through that commitment, through that strength, draw the totality of the Light of the Creator.