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Some call it the “love holiday,” or the “day of soul mates.” The Talmud calls it “the most joyous day of the year.” While there are many different explanations around what is so special about Tu B’Av, there is one in particular that I find tremendously profound: Tu B’Av, the 15th of Av, is forty days before the date of Creation, the 25th of Elul, the moment when the Light of the Creator decided that humanity would come into being.
The kabbalists teach that forty days before each of us is born, a decision is made about who our soul mate will be. And so, forty days before humanity even came into being, on Tu B’Av, the energy for the unification of soul mates was formed. Even before the creation of man, this was the day when the Light of all soul mates to ever be created was awakened. So, whether we are hoping to be in a relationship, or already in a relationship and hoping to deepen or elevate it, there is no better day of the year when we can draw in that powerful soul mate energy.
We often think, on a basic level, that when we come together with our soul mate, it's a joyous day. But it is important to understand that the Talmud calls it joyous not because of the initial moment of connection or beginning of a relationship, but because it is the day that contains the perfected version of the soul mate relationship itself. And it is only when we do the spiritual work for thirty, forty, fifty years (or more!), and when we grow together that we become that perfected union. In truth, there is no more important task than the work that we do in our relationships; the Zohar teaches that to have the merit to be with somebody who both pushes you to grow and who is open for you to push them to grow is the greatest blessing in the world.
There are teachings from the kabbalists that say when there is discord in a relationship, when there is discord between husband and wife, it reverberates throughout the universe, creating animosity, or amplifying animosity that already exists. So we have a responsibility in our relationships not just to grow, not just to know its purpose - which is to help us and push us - but also to realize that whether we're truly growing in love or not influences the world as well. And so, it’s important on Tu B’Av to have the consciousness that the Light which is created through the soul mate relationship we’re drawing in or elevating is not just for us, but for the entire world.
Knowing that Tu B’Av is the day when soul mate relationships were awakened, and when soul mates have come together, I ask for all of us that we be able to draw and receive the great Light that is available, that we open ourselves up to our perfected state, and that we ask for our soul mate to come in or our current relationship to be elevated. I hope we can all take advantage of the amazing energy that is available to us on this most “joyous” day, and that you can all get one step closer to having the soul mate relationship you so truly desire.