What if you are mad at the almighty? ~BC
Thank you for your openness and honesty. I have come to realize recently that there are many, many students in the Centre, as well as people around the world who have this issue. Some realize it and some don’t realize it or remember that they have issues with God.
I will share with you my story. I was working on increasing my certainty in a particular area and kept feeling blocked. One day, as I was reading the Zohar, I had a flashback. I was 12 years old, my grandmother had just died, and the rabbi was visiting my parents. This was my first experience with death. I asked the rabbi if my grandmother had gone to Heaven. He said, in effect, “We don’t think about that; we just make an effort to live a good life here.” And then he said, “Because we don’t know why God does what He does.”
Looking back on this moment, I realized that I “heard” him say that God took my grandmother. And as a result, I had resentment towards God. At that moment, I realized that my 12-year-old self was still holding resentment towards God. That’s why I was presently blocked from greater certainty.
Since we learn and understand from the teachings of the Centre that God/Light CANNOT cause darkness, I had to unblock myself from that resentment. What I did, and I suggest to you and everyone, is to scan/read from the Zohar portion Acharei Mot, which is for forgiveness. Send Light to your “12-year-old” self and let that self send Light of apology to God for thinking that God/the Light did anything of a negative nature. You will find that your anger at God will dissipate and your certainty will grow.
I pray that everyone who reads this will make the effort to go through the process I described. Even if you don’t think you are blocked, scan and send Light of apology for anything that you may be holding against the Creator. If you have some specific issues, please speak with your Kabbalah Centre instructor.
Thank you, BC for opening this door of change to all of us.
Light and blessings,