Ask A Kabbalist

Discovering Your Tikun


I have discovered that many parts of my character/behavior are not my own - actually, that I have "inherited" them from my parents. And most of my mistakes so far, are thanks to this adopted behavior and way of thinking, which now I am aware is not myself at all! I would very much like to change the present and the future in terms of peeling off those layers to discover my own tikun. It turns out that it is very difficult to just let them go. First, I don't know how, and second, I don't know what will fill that void (of course it's the Light, but I find myself paralyzed and I don't know how to be proactive about it). Can you please help me lose those layers that are not mine? ~ZK


Dear ZK,

I understand what you mean when you say “inheriting” traits from your parents. As we look back on our early lives, we see that we “originally” behaved in a certain way and with time began to behave more like our parents. As a result, we come to the conclusion that those behaviors are not ours.

From the rest of your question I conclude that you have studied with us for a while, so I will answer your question accordingly.

You know that everything is based on the universal law of cause and effect. Therefore NOTHING comes into our lives that is not based on some action or behavior from OUR past (of this life or previous lives). Kabbalah teaches us that each person’s soul CHOOSES their parents and their birth environment in order to have the proper elements to achieve their tikun (spiritual correction). So, the “inherited” behaviors you refer to are just a different manifestation of some tikun that you brought into this life, but the essence of the behavior IS yours.

Let me give you an example—insecurity is not a Light-filled behavior. It can manifest into weak and powerless behavior, being anxious at every turn. Insecurity can also manifest into a drive to create a huge business or be critical of other people. These behaviors are all based on insecurity. Yet, it is a behavior that we need to transform, to have certainty and trust in the Light and the power of the Light within us.

You may not yet see the connection between the behaviors that you speak about and your tikun. So, I would refer you to your Kabbalah Centre instructor. He or she can help you see the connection between your “original” behaviors and your “inherited” behaviors. Once you get to the root, your teacher can help you to peel away those layers. Then, they will show you how to transform your reactivity so you feel filled with the Light and not just as if you are letting go of something and feeling empty.

I wish you success in your transformation and continued studies.


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