Ask A Kabbalist

I'm married, and my partner does not study Kabbalah..


How can a married couple find common ground when only one studies Kabbalah? Is it possible to reconcile if one partner does not accept kabbalistic wisdom?


First of all, Kabbalah teaches that each individual needs to nurture his own connection to the Light, be it through Kabbalah, a religion, or other spiritual activities. A connection to the Light is personal and cannot be coerced.

There are some students at the Kabbalah Centre whose partners aren’t interested in the study. It is rare to find a partner, although some exceptions exist, who is not supportive of his or her partner’s spiritual path and practice. In any event, challenges can arise when the student expects the partner to support him or her in a way that requires the other to study too.

It benefits us to understand that our connection is individual and focus on that rather than expecting the people around us to study Kabbalah just because we do. That would be coercive and could backfire. Maybe they will go to a class or two, but eventually they may experience resentment if they feel they’ve been forced into something they didn’t want to do.

It is totally okay if my partner doesn’t go along with my connections, my Shabbat, my third meal, and my Zohar scanning. I’ll focus on my own connection. If I’m respectful of one’s opinions and beliefs, the degree of openness to my spiritual path will only draw respect back.


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