Ask A Kabbalist

Letting Go of the Pain


I have been studying Kabbalah for approximately 6 months. I am trying to figure out my soul's correction. Looking back throughout my past long-term, serious relationships, there has always been infidelity on their part. What sign to fix my soul am I missing? I have read that people in my life are there as a reflection of myself, showing me what needs to be corrected in my soul. I feel like I am totally blind to what the Light is trying to show me. I pray often, asking for strength and trust that I am going in the right direction. Can you please tell me what the infidelity of others means for my soul correction? ~CH


Thank you for this question. I truly believe that if we are able to understand the answer to that question we can literally apply it to any struggle or obstacle in our life.

Kabbalah teaches us that the patterns recurring in our lives are a reminder that each of us is in this world to better ourselves and optimize our ultimate potential. As long as the struggles flow in our lives, we still haven’t reached that ultimate goal.

It is one thing to know intellectually that things happen for a reason and not by coincidence. It is another thing to act upon it when we are in the midst of the obstacle. It is a challenge to recognize this when we are in the thick of it, be it a painful experience, a difficult separation, the news of a medical condition, or another individual betraying my trust.

The tests that come our way can sometimes be a payment that is due from past life, for example, something we caused another individual to feel or go through. In that case, the pain we experience is not even ours. We need to realize that the challenge is an opportunity to inject healing, let go, surrender into the pain, into the feeling of betrayal or hurt, because that pain is claiming its dues. It is an opportunity for us to let go of that pain by not owning it.

Let it go, don’t feed into it, don’t nourish it by feeling like a victim or blaming others. The pain grows out of proportion and then controls us because we feed it. Imagine if I was able to just let it go and take responsibility because I might have caused pain in someone else at some point in time.

Going through challenges and obstacles doesn’t make us bad people. The fact that we have an opportunity to deal with it means the Light Force of God sees in us the ability to overcome, that we can handle it. And in truth the Light will never send us a challenge we cannot handle. YOU CAN DO IT.


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