Ask A Kabbalist

Relationships - A Path to Transformation

Question:

I heard in Kabbalah that women choose to come to the game of life and that they do not need correction. Even though my girlfriend is also a Kabbalah student, I feel that she does not prioritize it so much. At home, she doesn't seek out classes, books, prayers, or the Zohar, even though she spends quite a lot of time inside the Centre. I'm not a saint, but I want to spend time at the Centre. I also study a little bit every day, pray, use the Zohar, and use my Sundays to work on projects. I feel an opposition in this sense (we are living together). She also has anger issues and judges people a lot. I prefer to try to understand people, and let go of judgment. But my question is, if women are spiritual and I am the one needing correction, do I have to suffocate myself in this relationship and let go of the things important to me, like my spirituality? I am really confused. ~RS

Answer:

Hello RS,

In your question there are many other questions that arise. It would be a lengthy conversation to give you the full answer. I would definitely recommend meeting with a Kabbalah teacher and to discuss these issues further.

As we know, every human being comes to this world with a specific tikun - that includes women. Yes, it is explained that woman volunteer to come down to this reality, but even volunteers have work they need to do. It says in the Zohar portion, Mishpatim, verse 157 that women are not judged if they are not in a relationship or not bringing children into the world. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t have a correction or tikun in this area. Therefore, when we choose a spiritual path, it’s not for the sake of the other person or to change others, it is to change ourselves.

When I have difficulty in a relationship I will ask myself, Why is this in my movie? What do I need to learn here? Where can I be proactive in dealing with this situation? When we change and really transform, everything around us will follow. Real spiritual work is when you have oppositions, when you have disagreements, and when people are against your work. It is a test whether you’re doing your real spiritual work or not. Your girlfriend is not the enemy, but a messenger. Find the message by going deeper into who you are and how strongly you believe in your spiritual work.

Related

See all