Ask A Kabbalist

The Need to Please

Question:

One of my problems caused by the ego is my need to please. How can I be myself around my family and be able to share without compromising my soul’s truth? ~ TM

Answer:

The fact that you KNOW that your pleasing nature comes from your ego is the best start. Many people have similar tricky dilemmas with family – your soul chose them for very specific corrections that you just cannot run from, right? I mean, you can change most other things in life – friends, house, job, partner, etc. But family, we are stuck with! Or rather, I should say, we’re truly blessed with. So, it’s time to go deeper – there’s a great blessing waiting for you here, but it’s only in the depth. Otherwise we’re left “stuck.”

I’ve heard Karen Berg give phenomenal lectures about family and balance, so see if you can dig some out or ask your teacher. From all I’ve learned in the Centre, for me the bottom line is this – life’s not about what you KNOW, it’s about what you DO. So, ask yourself this: why does your soul’s truth feel less important than the pleasure of your pleasing-ego? Why does expressing your soul’s truth feel so far, so difficult, or so painful? What is your soul's truth? Write it down. Why are you running away from it by hiding behind “pleasing” actions? Is it just your family you’re pleasing or is it everyone? And everywhere? What is your soul’s truth that you have got to start manifesting? Know, this is who I am; this is what I do. When you have that simplicity and certainty, there'll be no conflict. Suddenly, your family becomes angels, possibly showing you the very purpose for which you’re born. How much do you love them now? Now, if you start to DO, you might finally start to really be yourself. Enjoy!

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