Ask A Kabbalist

Waiting for a Soul Mate


I'm 57 and have been a widow for 8 years. I was married for 25 years. It was a very difficult marriage; he was a bipolar man, aggressive, and we had very little sex, which was never good. I consider myself intelligent, beautiful, and to have other positive attributes. Yet, since then I cannot have a "real" relationship. That is, in dating, all men only want sex and never ask me to date. I want to have a relationship, to love and be loved. I do not know where I am going wrong. ~MB


Dear MB,

You have a great opportunity during this time in your life to create the reality that you want!

You sound like a very wise woman that went through a lot and has a strong desire for a spiritual life. You might have to learn to love and appreciate yourself more, knowing that no matter what you went through in your marriage there is a part of your soul that is pure and complete.

By having clarity about the love and the friendship that you want, you will surely attract the right soul mate into your life. However, you might need to go through a test: do you really want a soul mate relationship or are you willing to receive something less than that?

The more you refuse to accept short-term relationships, the more Light you will receive.

Maintain a strong desire for the type of relationship you want and don't settle for anything less.

Sincerely yours,

Avner Madar


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