Ask A Kabbalist

Women and Tikun

Question:

I read that women don’t have tikun and that we are here to help men complete their correction. Can you explain this?

Answer:

Your question made me smile. I know at least a few men who would say, “Wait until you meet my wife..."

The sages teach that women also have a correction to do in this world, but not as much as men do. Men need more help, not so much to show off their manly features, but because men have more to fix. They must realize they are responsible for all that happens to them and take action to ensure that all chaos taking place in their life ends. Men need to learn to restrict, be proactive, study, and as a result, transform and connect to the Lightforce of God.

Remember when God asked Adam, “What have you done?” Adam’s answer was, “It’s not me; it’s my wife.” Sound familiar? It doesn’t come to men naturally to take responsibility. It takes a conscious decision to want to change and be ready to do whatever it takes.

Getting back to the question, a wife becomes a mirror, reflecting to us the connection and relationship men have with the Lightforce. For example, if a man is disrespectful to the Creator by being selfish, treating others with impatience, or lacks human dignity, that man will attract a wife that will treat him with disrespect. At the very least, it’s for the sake of giving him an opportunity to become better.

Try to keep this in mind: if your necktie’s knot needs to be fixed, would you fix it on the mirror? Of course not. So, why try fixing your wife or wishing that she’d be different? Our wives are an extension of the Lightforce and are here to help us grow and change. Ladies, please don’t use this too much against your husband!

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