We each come to this world with our own personal process. According to Kabbalah, this process is called ‘Tikun’.
Our tikun is our personal baggage – our journey, lessons that we need to learn, aspects that we need to change, correct, improve; challenges that we need to overcome and milestones that we need to pass in order to grow spiritually.
Imagine a video game with 10 levels that you need to pass (or overcome) in order to move to the next level. At any point in the game we can give up, but if we keep trying, if we have trust and certainty that we will pass, eventually we move on – and potentially can win the entire game!
As we make our way in life, we each face tests. There are times when things are working smoothly, things are clear; we see miracles, we experience Light and joy. And there are times that we question, we doubt; we are unsure if we are in the right path or we doubt all the good we have experienced before, all the miracles we ever saw and all the certainty that we ever felt.
In this week’s portion, Shlach Lecha, Moses is guided by the Creator to send 12 spies to the land of Israel, to explore and tour the land and bring back a report about what they see.
The 12 heads of the tribes were chosen to be the 12 spies as the most elevated, spiritual, and righteous souls that represented the nation. They were expected to do the best job in touring the land and coming back with objective reports.
Something went wrong along the way… 10 of the 12 spies, who had reached a high spiritual level, came with an exaggeratedly negative report motivated by their fears and agenda of losing their positions as the heads of the tribes. They saw how amazing Israel is on many levels – how people would be able to connect to the Light on their own without needing leaders – and they felt danger in that great reality, for their titles and their existing status.
The 10 spies stopped trusting.
The 10 spies were in a very elevated place; they probably went through many tests in their lives. They definitely saw many miracles traveling with Moses in the desert – from the splitting of the Red Sea, the revelation on Mount Sinai, the protection of the pillar of fire and the pillar of clouds – but they failed this particular test.
They lost their certainty. They gave room to their fears and their Desire to Receive for the Self Alone… and as a result they lost the entire ‘game’.
I remember something very powerful that Rav Berg used to say: that you actually are not working on your tikun in every moment in life. It’s not that every moment in life is taking you to the next level in the game; you can leave for years and stay in the same place spiritually. The true moments, where you are really able to climb to another level, happen when we are tested. A test of your certainty, a test of your trust in the entire process. When things seem to be going against you or against your will – these are the moments in which you have real free choice.
The moment of truth…
Am I choosing to believe this illusionary reality and fall, separating myself from the Light? Or am I choosing to keep my trust, my certainty in the process, my certainty in the past, the present moment and the future? Am I choosing certainty in my entire tikun process and this present challenge as a moment that will help me elevate to my next level?
“Certainty is the power that draws the Light into your life, Certainty is the vessel into which the Light flows. Just as quantum physics tells us the process of observation creates what is observed, the Light of the Creator becomes present in our lives to the degree that we have certainty of its presence. And the reverse of this is also true: To the degree that we doubt the existence of the Light, then to that degree the Light literally does not exist in our lives.”
~ Michael Berg, Secrets of the Zohar
This week, we receive universal support to recognize those moments in which we are being tested. When the tests come, always choose the path of certainty and trust that it will lead us towards winning the entire game!