So often when we come into conflict with another person, we only think about what’s good or bad for "me," how uncomfortable "I" feel, how "I" can get out of this mess, or how "I" got into it in the first place.
The main issue with these thoughts is that they are all about "me" and "mine," and in that train of consciousness there is no acknowledgement of: "OK, this person has come into my life for some good reason, but right now we are at odds. Have I learned anything from the experience? What is the universe trying to teach me?"
Oftentimes, the reason that most of us succumb to the darkness of anger, confusion, or worry in these situations is because we become overwhelmed by our own reactive consciousness. The good news is that if we can learn how to pull ourselves out of this place, then we can literally create a different perspective altogether. (Think of it as seeing ourselves watching the movie instead of being in the movie.)
No matter what we come up against in life, we need to ask ourselves: Where is my consciousness? If we tell ourselves, "OK, I’ve got to somehow find the door that’s open here," then we have the chance to find the lesson, the opportunity in the darkness, another way forward.