Published:
August 1, 2023
Originally recorded:
September 3, 2022
There comes a point in every relationship where the sense of euphoria has dissipated, and you really begin to see your partner. The good and the bad. This often leads to buyer’s remorse.
When you start to feel this it’s a good opportunity to look at the relationship you are in and ask yourself what it is you love about your partner? Why do you want to be with them?
Don’t compare your relationship to the one’s you see on TV or to your neighbor next store. Instead look to see what illusions you have of how this relationship is supposed to be and your expectations realistic? When you call out your illusions you can then navigate what is real and what is not. This will give you the clarity you need to determine if this is the relationship you want to be in.
When you get clear on what your soul desires and the illusions you have you can then rewrite the script that really serves you.
Yesterday, I asked you to take a closer look at your relationships, including the one you have with yourself. In assessing your relationships, did you identify aspects of yourself that you rely on others to validate?
Often we assign others to be something in our life that they never asked to be and probably don’t want to be. Identifying our unrealistic expectations in relationships will go a long way toward solving our problems and dispelling insecurities.
How do we realize that our expectations in relationships are unrealistic? By understanding that they are rooted in illusions. The danger of illusions is that they lead to buyer’s remorse. This is the point in any relationship when the sense of euphoria has dissipated, and the buyer wishes they could send back their order.
A common illusion I’ve seen many times over is people expecting that their partner will make them happy. That is not your partner, friend, or sibling’s job! Your happiness is your responsibility.
The good news is that dispelling an illusion can be quite straightforward. When we experience disappointment, it is time to ask ourselves, “What did I think this relationship would bring me? And was that a realistic expectation?”
Now, let’s focus on one key relationship in your life that may need some attention.
When feelings of buyer’s remorse arise, remember this simple truth: if somebody has to change, it's probably you. As important as it is to find the right partner or friend, it's more important to be the right partner or friend. Would you want to be in a relationship with you?
One of the great gifts in studying Kabbalah is that we become more aware of the energies around us. Each day, week, and month has its own unique energy with differing powers that inform us. This month of Virgo is one of the most consequential months of the year, full of the energy of deep transformation. Over the next 30 days, we will assess, evaluate, and rethink 10 of the most important areas of your life. First, we will look at what is working and what isn’t working. I will help you identify your desire – the thing that you really want for that area of your life–not the thing you only think you want, or think you should want, or what others think you should want. From there, you will make your plan. You’ll make it actionable, doable, and motivating. I’m so excited and grateful that you are all joining me on this journey to rethink, reframe, recalibrate, and re-energize your life.