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Why is it when I work on building my vessel, I get to a point where it starts to shrink again? What is it that I must do to change that pattern? Certain thought patterns come up, behaviors, and so on. How can I be proactive when I hit this point? It feels like every time I take one step forward, I fall three steps back. Thank you. ~RM
The truth is, your vessel, in and of itself, cannot and never will shrink.
The reason you’re feeling one step forward and three backwards, is a VERY important spiritual test.
When you move forward, are proactive, share, overcome some aspect of ego, restrict, you awaken an expansion of self – an expansion of your vessel. That larger, greater vessel in that ‘spiritual moment’ will feel now a process of emptiness. Why? If you have 10 liters of water in a 10 liter container and suddenly you transfer the water to a 13 liter container, you will, relatively speaking, feel a new space. A perceived lack. In fact, 3 liters of lack. Or as you call it ‘three steps back.’
So the action of growth is not just a simple addition of Light and miracles. It’s the awakening of the vessel for continuous change and growth. The greatest gift we can ask for is not a miracle, a good feeling, or a satiated get-out-of-jail moment. But rather, the greater desire and craving for continuously more Light.
The stage above the top of one world is the bottom of the world above it. It might feel like less, steps backwards, lack or loss, but it’s the EXACT opposite. It’s more, it’s greater, it’s bigger and better.
The first step of your next level is the Malchut of that new, elevated world, meaning moving to the higher ‘tail of the lion’ from the lesser ‘head of the fox.’
So, your step forward’s next step is to look into the face of misperceived lack, and just KEEP GOING.
It may seem like you’re shrinking as your vessel is actually growing. You can rectify that by persevering. You’ve created great fruits for yourself, now it’s time to ‘reap’ by enduring through the midst of this first stage of your HIGHER world.
Deeper study will help. Teacher support will help. Zohar meditation will help. This is working smarter.