“Consciousness is like a muscle. The more restraint we exercise, the stronger our consciousness becomes, which increasingly puts us in control of our destiny.” – Yehuda Berg
Imagine you’ve been promised an abundance of blessings: fame, success, and a strong line of descendants who will share your blessings. In exchange, all you have to do is pick up all your belongings and move. Easy, right?
In the book of Genesis, the Creator has just such an exchange with Abraham. The chapter, Lech Lecha, tells the story of Abraham as he sets off for Canaan at God’s bidding. Yet, his journey is not easy. On top of widespread famine in the land of Egypt, when Abraham and his wife, Sarah, arrive, she is promptly delivered to the Pharaoh so that he might enjoy the pleasure of her company and beauty. When the Pharaoh realizes that Sarah is Abraham’s wife (they told everyone that she was his sister) he banishes the couple from Egypt and they continue their journey.
The journey that the Creator prompts him to take is stricken with conflict. Though times were uncertain, Abraham never lost his connection to the Creator and the Light. According to the Midrash (the oral companion to the Torah), despite the obstacles he encountered, Abraham “was not angry and did not complain.” In Secrets of the Bible, Michael Berg points out that, “Abraham was excited to wake up each day and push himself.”
The difference between people like Abraham who would jump at the opportunity to live a blessed life and those who pass because it seems too big of a burden, boils down to self-discipline. Restriction means resisting our impulses and temptation in an effort to stay the course and reap the rewards of a life well lived. That is not to say that it is easy. Will power is a tricky thing to maintain whether it’s a piece of chocolate cake calling your name or negative thoughts and actions.
Kabbalists call this restriction; it’s one of the basic principles of Kabbalah. By restricting instant gratification and desires that feed the ego we stay connected to the Light. Restriction leads to transformation. Abraham is a model of what we should strive for in our spiritual work, enthusiasm for life and self-discipline when faced with hardship. Michael Berg explains:
"Abraham changes the way we think about our spiritual work. Most of us see the goal of spiritual life as an easy, endless connection to the Creator. This, however, was not what Abraham sought. Abraham sought to fulfill his purpose knowing there would be nothing easy about it."
A study conducted by psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania took a closer look at self-control in eighth graders. They offered the student participants $1, but told them if they chose to forgo the money and wait a week, they would receive $2 instead. Researchers, Angela Duckworth, PhD and Martin Seligman, PhD, followed the academic progress of the two camps of students and found that those who exhibited greater self-discipline and waited for $2 had better grades, better school attendance, and performed better on standardized tests. They were also more likely to be accepted into competitive high school programs as they progressed beyond middle school. Similar studies connect will power with higher self-esteem, stronger relationships, and less likelihood of drug or alcohol abuse in adults.
Simply put, those who show self-discipline are more successful in life. “We possess free will so that we can resist the flow of direct and immediately fulfilling energy to our desires,” says Yehuda Berg in The Power of Kabbalah. “Free will can only be exercised when there is something to resist.”
Most of us lack the consciousness to face challenges with the gusto and enthusiasm that Abraham did. Using restriction as a tool for spiritual growth can make the path a little brighter. Knowing that obstacles have been placed in our way specifically to encourage us to grow can help us to tackle them more willingly, all the while connected to the Light. The kabbalistic lesson of the story is clear, when we realize that the same blessings promised to Abraham are also promised to us, we can allow those blessings into our lives by practicing self-discipline through restriction.
